7: Every Version Led Me Here - My Complete Writing Journey

Oh boy, this blog poured out of me. I sat down to write something completely different… and suddenly, over 2,000 words later, here we are. (it was originally 4,000 words for reference.)

So grab a warm drink and get comfy. This one’s personal.

The story I’m currently drafting has been with me since I was twelve. Back then, it was straight-up Jasper Hale fanfic. (Yes, from Twilight.) I was the main character, Jasper saved me, we fell in love, and I had powers, obviously. It was my way of writing myself into a magical world I desperately wanted to belong to.

As I got older, the story shifted. The main character wasn’t just me anymore—she became every girl who’s ever wanted to feel powerful in a world that tells us to shrink. We read fantasy to break those boundaries. To step into places where literal magic exists—and where we can harness it.

I've started and restarted this book so many times, in so many ways. So I thought I’d take you through the full timeline of this project that’s still titled First Draft because committing to a real title this early in the process feels… terrifying.

2009 – Version 1: Rikki Long: The New Beginning

Let’s call it what it was: Twilight fanfic. I wrote myself into a story and changed Jasper’s name so it wasn’t obvious I had a crush on him. It was set on Earth, where magic was hidden from humans.

I handwrote the whole thing then transferred it to word. I drew maps of schools and house layouts, made ball invitations, and kept it all in a folder—character profiles, relationship maps, plot outlines. I was enthralled by putting pen to paper. And I’m so grateful to my Year 6 teacher, Mrs Fisk, who encouraged me to keep creating.

Here’s the opening paragraph of my very first draft:

 2010 – Version 2: Arica Evans

I took myself out of the story and let the character become her own person. It was still low fantasy, set in our world. Jasper had been replaced by Jesse—a shifter who could transform into an animal form. Arica went to a regular high school, had a big friendship group who were all secretly shifters assigned to protect her, dealt with a cliché mean girl, and, naturally, an all-powerful villain was after her.

After finishing book one, I was so hyped I wrote book two in a week. Yep—a week. It was school holidays, and I basically lived in my bed with my laptop. And honestly? I adored every second of it.

I unfortunately don't have this version of my story any more because my brother and I got into a fight one day and I did something shitty (I wasn't a very nice older sister) causing my brother to drop my bag on the tiles, unknowing it had my laptop in it. The laptop broke and all my stories were gone. (I actually can't recall how I still have the first 65 pages of my very original story.)

When I look back at this part of my writing journey I have so much admiration for younger me. I simply loved what I was writing. All of it. I didn’t struggle with perfectionism. I wasn’t thinking about what anyone else would think of my writing. I wasn’t afraid of judgement. I wasn’t aiming for a career or an audience—I was just writing because I loved it. And I loved what I was writing.

Even at thirteen, I knew I wanted to be a published author. But my mindset was wildly different back then. I didn’t worry about failing. I didn’t worry if it was good enough. I just wrote.

I was so proud, I asked my mum to print the whole thing out at her printer at work and was so ecstatic when she came back with it printed in colour. She even put it in one of those plastic display folders with the clear front. I was buzzing. I handed it to my Year 7 Humanities teacher for feedback.

Weeks passed. He never read it.

Eventually, I asked for it back. He’d forgotten all about it. That stung—a lot. Thirteen-year-old me felt crushed. That kind of dismissal really hit, and I shelved the story for several years.

 2010–2019: Arica Evans on Ice

High school and uni took over. I was reading and writing so much academically that I had no energy for my own stories. Writing wasn’t a real job so I had to get serious.

I tucked writing away as a childhood hobby and poured myself into study. I became a perfectionist throughout high school. I measured my worth through grades and achievements. I finished high school with a high ATAR, got into Paramedicine at Monash, and became a paramedic.

But through all of that, there was a quiet voice in the back of my mind: what about your story?

I’d get nostalgic sometimes—flip through old drafts or re-read character notes. Sometimes I’d even open the Word doc and edit a chapter. But eventually, I’d close it again.

And the story would go back to sleep.

2020 – Version 3: The Heir of Valourwood

In 2020, I hit a wall.

I had a Paramedicine degree, but Ambulance Victoria delayed my recruitment because I didn’t quite pass the psych exam. I was told to try again in six months.

Burnt out. Mid-pandemic. Living through one of the longest lockdowns in the world. I’d been chasing this goal for years and suddenly… nothing.

I had started listening to Georgie Stevenson’s Rise and Conquer Podcast in 2019. I hadn’t heard about personal development prior to Georgie, I simply followed her from her Gymshark days, and when she started posting about personal development, I really enjoyed it and followed along. In March of 2020, Georgie had on Samantha Daily as a guest speaker. I won’t lie, I don’t remember exactly the content of that podcast (maybe this is a sign for me to re-listen), but I distinctly remember my brain chemistry changing after it. I’ll link the exact podcast episode here.

Straight after listening to the episode, I found Sam’s Instagram, devoured her content, and signed up for her second round of her Burnout to Badass program. On May 29th, 2020, at eight pm, I joined her info call, terrified but curious. Not because Sam was scary (although her brutal honest does trigger me sometimes in the best way!) but because I was putting myself out there in a way I had never done before. That night, I made the biggest investment of my life (at the time) into myself.

And holy shit did my life change.

I started meditating. For real. Not dabbling. Committing. And during one of Sam’s meditations, I had a full-body intuitive download.

It was quiet, but clear: Write your book.

I leapt off the stool, mid-meditation, opened my laptop, and started writing a new version of my story: The Heir of Valourwood.

This time, I didn’t want it set on Earth. I wanted to build a whole world.

Arica still had powers, but she didn’t remember who she was. The story took a darker turn—more mystery, more magic, more layers. It was romantic, yes, but also haunting. And Folklore by Taylor Swift had just dropped, so the vibe was perfect.

But I didn’t finish it. I got six chapters in and then my limiting beliefs and perfectionism I had developed over the last decade crept in.

I wrote like I had to get every sentence perfect the first time. I obsessed over what readers would think. I lost the joy.

And eventually… I stopped again.

2022 – Still Version 3: The Heir of Valourwood

By 2022, I was a full-time paramedic—and deep in perfectionism and people-pleasing. My health had completely dropped off, my mindful practices were non-existent. I wasn’t writing. I was burnt out again. I wasn’t looking after myself and Tim Tams were my best friend.

In April, I had an intuitive pull to listen to a podcast. I hadn’t listened to a podcast in a while because the last thing I wanted was to listen to life coaches reminding me how poorly I was showing up for myself at that point in my life. But Sam’s show, Make Shift Happen, had a new episode and my memory is probably way off here in thinking it was titled ‘BIG ANNOUNCEMENT’ or something along those lines. Well, kudos to Sam’s marketing, I was intrigued, and I clicked play.

She was hosting her first retreat!

I bought a ticket the day they released and in December 2022, I flew to the Dominican Republic to meet her.

So many incredible things came out of those four days and, though I didn’t know it then, one of the best parts was meeting one of my favourite people in this world, and my soul sister: Karli, who’s now one of my biggest writing supporters.

Another incredible moment was during a breathwork session, I had another download. This time, the Universe didn’t whisper.

It told me so abruptly: “Write the fucking book.”

I came home lit up. But… I still didn’t write.

Because old fears die hard.

Boy, do I know just how pissed the Universe was with me by this point.

2023 – Still Version 3: The Heir of Valourwood

At the start of 2023, I finished reading the Throne of Glass series—and something inside me cracked wide open. I was inspired in a way I hadn’t felt in years.

I set a goal: finish my first draft by the end of the year.

But then I self-sabotaged and abandoned myself. I convinced myself worldbuilding and character work counted as “writing” (spoiler: it can, but not when you’re avoiding the actual writing). I ended the year with a newly created world map, six revised chapters and a whole lot of procrastination. Chapters that I had written previously, and I simply re-edited them… Again.

2024 – Still Still Version 3: The Heir of Valourwood

This year, everything started shifting.

I prioritised my health again. I meditated daily. I cleared debt. I fell in love. I reconnected with my expanders—Georgie and Monica Yates—and did deep mindset work. But still, the one area I couldn’t seem to crack was… writing my book.

The fear. The pressure. The perfectionism. It was all still there.

But then, one terrifying thought started circling my brain: What if I get to the end of my life never having written this book?

And that scared me more than failure ever could.

In September, I enrolled in Unlocking Creativity, a four-week course with The Writers’ Studio. It was the first time anything had helped me crack through my writing block.

I felt like I was twelve again. Writing because I loved it and not caring if what I was writing was “bad.”

After that, I signed up for their 10-Month First Draft course to begin in 2025. Around the same time, I attended the Naked Harvest Retreat, where Georgie guided us through a manifestation journaling session.

I wrote down my dream again: I am an internationally best-selling author.

Then we journaled on what was holding us back from obtaining our dream. This was what I wrote:

I shared with the group and with Georgie everything that came through for me and she responded with something that landed in my bones:

No one’s going to believe in you until you have something to show for it. You have to back yourself first. She confessed that she deals with negativity and people trying to tear her down daily, but she believes so strongly in her message and her purpose that she keeps showing up anyway. If she had of caved and listened to the Karen’s of the world, she wouldn’t have created such a impactful business that literally changes people’s lives. She wouldn’t have the community and the impact that she does now. People doing better than me are never going to try and pull me down for going after my dream. The only people who are going to try and pull me down are those doing less than and how sad that would be if I let those people be the thing that derails me achieving my soul purpose and keeping myself small.

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

2025 – Version 4: First Draft

At the start of 2025, I began working with my now-coach Monica Yates and completed her Queen Alchemy program—a deep-dive into healing trauma and conditioning.

There’s no short way to describe just how transformative it was. I’m endlessly grateful for Monica, this program, and the incredible women I experienced it with. Through Queen Alchemy, I was able to heal my perfectionism, release it as part of my identity, regulate my nervous system, challenge my ego, and build unshakable discipline—all things I didn’t realise I’d need so deeply to write this book.

For the first time ever, I don’t just hope I’ll finish this draft. I know I will.

I’m now four months into my First Draft course. I’ve started from scratch—again.

Romance is now a subplot. I’m more obsessed with character arcs, politics, and magic systems than I’ve ever been. I’m writing multiple POVs. The world is richer. More complex. And, finally, the story feels like mine.

I have an outline that lights me up—and yes, sometimes the story still veers in new directions as I draft. But I’m writing. I’m showing up. And I have been every single week since February, the most I have ever committed to my writing in fifteen years.

And even though it has been fifteen years and I still don’t have a book published, I truly believe this is how it was always meant to unfold. If I’d broken through my blocks sooner, this story wouldn’t be what it is now—and I’m so, so proud of what it’s becoming.

Thank you for sticking with me all the way to the end.

Happy writing,

Renee Ella

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